Dear Madame,
I take great pleasure in informing you that the W.C. is located seven miles from the house in the center of a beautiful grove of pine trees. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sunday and Thursday only. I recommend that you come early,although there is plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation, especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.
You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good number bring their lunch and make a day of it, while others who can afford it go by car and arrive just in time. I would especially suggest that your ladyship go on Thursday when there is social music. Acoustically, the place is excellent.
It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the W.C., and it was there she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats.
The newest attraction is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings joyously every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all, since the people think it is a long-felt need.
My wife is rather delicate and does not go regularly. Naturally, it pains her very much not to attend more often.
If you wish, I shall be glad to reserve the best seat for you where you will be seen by all. Hoping I have been of service to you, I remain,
Sincerely,
[the schoolmaster]
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