Surviving Dull Sermons


Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Lynn)


Ways to Survive Even the Dullest of Sermons


- Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests

- See if a yawn really is contagious

- Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the minister.

- Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs

- Listen for the speakers to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet.

- Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front

- Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.

- Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the lavatory.

- Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.

- By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt inside out.

- Try to raise one eyebrow

- Think about your chin for an entire minute

- Twiddle your thumbs

- Twiddle your neighbor's thumbs

- Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice


Comments, suggestions, flames, etc.
tellswor@slonet.org


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