The Senior Citizen's Alphabet


Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
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I have learned that this piece is the work of Judith Viorst,
who is the author of both fiction and non-fiction works,
for children as well as adults. More information about Judith and
her work can be found at the American Academy of Poets,


A's for arthritis

B's for bad back 

C's for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac? 

D is for dental decay and decline 

E is for eyesight--can't read that top line

F is for fissures and fluid retention 

G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention) 
And other gastrointestinal glitches 

H is high blood pressure

I is for itches 

J is for joints that are failing to flex

L for libido--what happened to sex? 

Wait! I forgot about K for bad knees

(I've got a few gaps in my M - memory) 

N's for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis

O is for osteo- 

P for porosis

Q is for queasiness. Fatal? Just flu?

R is for reflux--one meal becomes two 

S is for sleepless nights counting my fears

T for tinnitus--bells in my ears 

U is for difficulties urinary

V is for vertigo

W is worry 

About what the X--as in X ray--will find 
But though the word terminal rushes to mind, 
I'm proud, as each 

Y - year - goes by, to reveal a reservoir of undiminished

Z - zeal---For checking the symptoms my body deployed, 
And keeping my twenty-six doctors employed.


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