Emailed to me from another humor list (Cascade Express E-zine)
To subscribe to Cascade Express E-zine, send a blank email to:
Cascade_Express-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your
child's school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff
member, please listen to all options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent, Press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work, Press 2.
To complain about what we do, Press 3.
To verbally abuse our staff members, Press 4.
To ask why you did not get needed information that was already
enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you,
Press 5.
If you want us to raise your child, Press 6.
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone, Press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year, Press 8.
To complain about bus transportation, Press 9.
To complain about school lunches, Press 0.
If you realize that this is the real world and your child must be
accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work,
homework, and that it is not the teacher's fault for your child's
lack of effort, please hang up and have a nice day!!