Emailed to me another humor list (The Funny-Bone)
To subscribe to The funny-Bone, send an email to
Join-Funny-Bone@lists.spunge.org
(This is actually from a book by George Carlin, "Brain Droppings"
see "Sayngs 2" for complete authorship information.
"EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES" - Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones" come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.
"YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU (when you die)" - Well..., that depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets.
"YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY" - Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you've just learned it, doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it, Columbus is a good example of this.
"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST" - Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can
see how limited those people were.