Saving Us From Ourselves

Found posted in a humor newsgroup (rec.humor.funny)

Earlier this year, Vermont ran a trade-in program. "Bring us your old, your poor, your outmoded mercury laden thermometers," the state advertised, "and we will give you FREE digital thermometer in exchange." The state was worried that someone would drop a mercury unit and poison the environment or bite the end off one and be poisoned personally.

I want it noted for the record that I had never broken a mercury thermometer until I dropped ours on the way to the pharmacy to exchange it. We now have a brand new digital fever thermometer with a lifetime guarantee (what, they're going to give me my money back?), a soft and flexible tip for added comfort, a built-in beeper, and a fast, easy to read display. The package also included the following label:

                 This digital fever thermometer contains a
                 replaceable button battery which should last
                 for many years. Button batteries contain a
                 very small amount of mercury ...