Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
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Let me preface this piece with the following: I ocassionally receive email from someone who has taken umbrage as what is posted at Good Clean Fun. Over the past 10 years that I have been running GCF, there have been some (actually very few) complaints that have been legitimate. A legitimate complaint is taken seriously. What is not taken seriously is the type of email I received just last week. It was from someone who actually is a telemarketer. This person (I will not divulge the name, gender, or email address) reminded me, in no uncertain terms, that they were in the telemarketing business and it is a legitimate business and, yes, they "do know when it's dinner time." Then they suggested, in very inappropriate language, that I get on the "Do Not Call" list if I did not want to receive telemarketing calls. Up until the moment of the change in language, I was considering responding to the email and telling this person that (1) I was on the "Do Not Call" list; (2) Being on the list did not prevent all telemarketing calls; (3) When I do receive such calls, my response is polite, saying something like "I am not interested. Please do not call this number again. Thank you." and then I just hang up ... seems much nicer than just slamming the phone down. I must say that once I got to the bad language in the email, and it was quite vulgar, it took about one second to delete the email. Such a person does not deserve a response. So if you happen to work in the telemarketing business and you take offense to what I post, let me just say the following: "This is a HUMOR list. If you can't laugh at yourself, then you are a sad person, indeed." OK, that's it. I'm stepping down from the soapbox now. On to tonight's humor.....
-Tom (the guy who can laugh at himself and feels better for it)
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal and, as I answered, I was greeted with, "Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?" This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew Wilhiam personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said, off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."
I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.
Then I proceeded to tell him that we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me, as I returned to the table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.