No Longer a Kid


Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Ellen) who got it from someone else who got it from someone else, etc.

One person who received this list, indicated that they started putting mental check marks alongside the ones that applied to them ... until it started getting scarry ...


SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who
    walks into the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age
     ..... and isn't breaking any laws.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You make an appointment to see the dentist.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
Neighbors borrow *your* tools.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?"
You have a dream about prunes.
You answer a question with, "because I said so!"
You send money to PBS.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top
    of  your pants.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know what the word "equity" means.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to
    watch television.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You got cable for the weather channel.
    (My uncle calls the Weather Channel "Old Folks MTV.")
You can go bowling without drinking.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.


Comments, suggestions, flames, etc.
tellswor@slonet.org


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