Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross
roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2
it gets 1.4999999999.
Hillary Rodham Clinton:
I don't recall.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying insecurity.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not
cross the road.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed it, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around
all over the place anyway?"
The Pope:
That is only for God to know.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and
that was good enough for us.
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken
crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
John Locke:
Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
Albert Camus:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except
to him.
Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.
Scully:
It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in
chickens.
Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross
roads.
Immanuel Kant:
The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of
his own free will.
M.C.Escher:
That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.
George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was
crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only
serving their interests.
B.F. Skinner:
Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium
from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would
tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its
own freewill.
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