Cat Diary

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Herman)
Forwarded from Kitty's Daily Mews. For subscription
information and an aMEWsingly good time visit:
http://www.katscratch.com

CAT DIARY (as written by my cat)
(Heard on the Mark Mason Show on KEX, Portland)

"I heard the big owner on the radio with ways to talk about humans and
still be politically correct.  Well, here's:  "HOW TO TALK ABOUT CATS
& STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT"

I'm not aloof.
I am Hominoidally Unimpressed

I don't shed.
I develop Follicle Abdication

I don't scratch.
I cause temporary hemoglobin displacement.

I don't purr.
I am aurally appreciative.

I am not indifferent.
I am Dispassionately Neutral.

I'm not small.
I am Corpus Compactus.

I am not fat.
I have a Distended Cat Food Storage Facility.

I am not asleep.
I am temporarily inert.

I don't chase mice.
I am Rodent Defiant.

I am not fussy.
I become a Fastidious Feline

I am not hungry.
I suffer from Craving Derangement Disorder

I'm not fixed.
I am Romantically Inaccessible.

It was a good day."

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