Bureaucratic Babble


Emailed to me by a co-worker.


Bureaucrats -- What they say ... (What they mean)

We've all heard the language of the bureaucrat. 
Did you ever wonder what they are *really* saying? 

1.  Above Critical ... (out of control)
2.  Categorical Inaccuracy ... (a lie)
3.  Terminological Inexactitude ... (a lie)
4.  Strategic Misrepresentation ... (a lie)
5.  Compliance Assistance Officer ... (a cop)
6.  Contributions ... (tax payments)
7.  In the Early Stages of Finalization ... (unfinished)
8.  In the Earliest Stages of Finalization ... (not started yet)
9.  Good Neighbor Policy ... (invading a neighboring country)
10. Great Restraint ... (what police officers, ie: Compliance 
    Assistance Officers, always exercise up until the moment 
    they are forced to shoot someone)
11. Judgement Lapse ... (a white collar crime)
12. Sanitize ... (to censor)
13. Suboptimal ... (lousy)
14. Nonperforming Asset ... (a bad loan)
15. Procedural Safeguards ... (red tape)
16. Rapid Oxidation ... (a fire)
17. In a Reduced State of Awareness ... (asleep or comatose)
18. Soft Targets ... (humans selected to be bombed or 
    otherwise militarily attacked)
19. Target Servicing ... (dropping a bomb)
20. Therapeutic Segregation ... (solitary confinement)
21. Terrain Alteration ... (saturation bombing)


Comments, suggestions, flames, etc.
tellswor@slonet.org


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