Note: The existence of Administratium was reported on these pages in July 1997.
This is a followup to that notification and can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Farm/7478/administ.htm
>
> >
> > >
> > > Los Alamos, New Mexico:
> > >
> > > Government scientists have previously announced the discovery of a
> > > new element, the heaviest element one yet isolated. The new name
> > > Administratium and symbol Ad has been accepted by the scientific
> > > community. Now the influence of morons and peons on this unique
> > > element are more fully understood, as indicated below.
> > >
> > > Administratium has no protons or electrons, yielding an atomic
> > > number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant
> > > neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for
> > > an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by
> > > a moronic force field, which is surrounded by vast quantities of
> > > lepton-like particles called peons.
> > >
> > > Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years
> > > although it does not decay. Instead it undergoes a reorganization
> > > in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and
> > > assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, the mass of a
> > > sample of Administratium will actually increase over time, since
> > > with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become
> > > neutrons, forming new isotopes.
> > >
> > > This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
> > > speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a
> > > certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
> > > as the "Critical Morass."
> > >
> > > Since Administratium has no electrons, it is chemically inert.
> > > However, it can be detected since it impedes any reaction with
> > > which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium can
> > > delay any reaction by a factor of a million or more. A reaction
> > > that would normally take a second or two under the effects of
> > > trace quantities of Admisistratium can take upwards of two weeks
> > > to complete.
> > >
> > > Unnamed sources close to the announcement assured the conference
> > > that, "You'll know it when you see it." There is some suggestion
> > > that Administratium causes columns of ">" symbols in emails.
> > >
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